halloween

holy hollow
on dark night
spit fire sprite
stars. lust
hoping. needing sleep
i don’t care
i don’t peep
an old house
ancient spirits
slutty curse
bar minder
strip take off
my planes don’t sigh
i leave. i need
beauty sleep
not empty bleep
i leave
feel sorry
for ye…

khartoum khartoum sands are rising

khartoum

penny ahmed wife of a sultan
landlord in arabia and sudan
black dangerous blood shot

three children Mike, Milia
Jahanara.
canada vancouver icy winds
return to khartoum khartoum

the sands are rising
twenty years, two murders
an eternity as fate has face

an encounter that started
in abu dhabi. a love affair
went on to NYC, london, Milan

a betrayal that drew blood
on the night she left thirty
years ago with her children

their children. khartoum
khartoum. sands are rising
blue sky flying. black women
singing allah’s glory in lips

without veils on stilts
sudan sands are furnaced
iced and that’s just aday

as fate awaits how destiny mates
meets with connections
that bring sands from
heaven and hell

khartoum…

walk

a therapy
meditation
exertion
exhilaration
a poem
a song
a ghazal
thousand graves
you
traffic lights
pizza hell
long sunday shadows
three kings
a queen
lamb chili samosa

i know you hug me in the night

i feel warm, refreshed and loved
if i was a woman i would allow me
to feel cherished as you hold me
a peace invades my vacuums, if i
was a girl i would say crevice
a warm pride engulfs my soul in a wave
its not my heater. its on fan
its not the chillies. it’s you
we hug, we exist beyond the physical
we transcend

flag on domain

flying with a grey cloud
deeper skies the blue shadow
greyer peels the green greener
domain sleeps like yellow hollow
heavens weep not. weekends not here
crane’s picking vibrations
from cop’s thorns. old houses
black houses. grey houses. big houses.
plank houses. cat houses. coffee houses.
pink lips. blue houses. high roof houses.
white loo houses. small bedroom houses.
million sigh houses. gentle houses.
murder houses. slope houses. anglican
houses. kabab houses. shabab houses.
wriggle houses. Sleep. wake. dance. cry.

dad’s not in symonds street

he can never be
he was in gujarat in the sand dunes
of sweet tongued in 1994
as the bells went off
i was not ready to burn
or drown as mom rafted
i held the storm
silver came
evil eye cast
hit home
not the millions
but a living daylight
in the summer
of winter
no rains on my window
but the kitchen door
squeaked
simran was born
after sibling nightmares

precipice

Moon in Mountain Goat
sure-footed on edge
ice ambition. Iron sweetness
Venus possible.

deep mysterious dream
powerfuleyes energy
mystical real value

a non-physical connection
as we sleep together
fifteen miles away
you smile in my arms
i breathe

long walk from george’s bay

parnell is a charged place
pay the price. spirits everywhere
lights dim into epsom as telltale job
begins…
pink flowers on green trees
red leaves on brown trunks
if bodies don’t meet
into a physical embrace
or a kiss
two hearts can live through
a gaze.

i can see bhuleshwar. lower parel
even government quarters of bandra
i can feel longing
but it could be a reflection
or echo of a mirage
a dream i never had

pizza hut pops a few olives
as i walk down alone
on familiar lane
avoiding big houses
and small lanes

streets sing a song
that cats don’t understand
on black walls
conned thatches
and churches that seek prayers

thus i survived you today.

Comment: the little red dog

thank you for your lovely words. they felt sincere and heart-felt. it’s funny to think that on this cold night i seek solace in the words from stranger who feels strongly familar. your poem consoles me when i find myself feeling so broken and worn. it reminds that the world is not completely lost. you’er are a kind sole my friend and truly your gift is poetry…and suddenly i don’t feel so alone…

shimsher

Bingo

if i’m less egotistical

i can hear more
rather than feel
how dare she/he

i can feel more
peace
and world does not
revolve around me

burden’s gone

so i need no applause
or acceptance.

i guess i can pull back

from cause and effect

every meeting for a purpose

every word
sadhu saffron said

every leaf
iswarparidhan
thy will be done

every tear has a reason
every reason destiny

every rain has flower
every flower weed

don’t cry…don’t cry…don’t cry
please don’t cry.

every shade has a shadow
every rainbow is gold

suppositions

supposed to help
not burden my emotions
what have i done
oh god

help me help
save me to save
don’t close doors
i have no energy
for windows

i was suppose to help her
may be i don’t have it in me

i have to look after number one

suddenly

my yearning has lost its voice
my prayers have lost the echo
my longing has lost its dive

this joy i feel is absolutely mine
its niether romance nor divine
its a piece of peace i had long
deposited in karmic bank saved
for a rainy day

and no one can take it away
niether me nor you nor mains

if

if this is summer
what will winter bring

if this be love
how hard will hate sing

if this is friendship
how ananymous will enemity

if this is life
how lousy death will be

if this is you and this is me
how screwed up us – our children be

rainbow over a desert sky

through asian jungles
rode he with savage force
his ancestors once stood this land
he protected her honour – her husband
a need to believe love was real
pierced through the green fields
hunted for the lions. slashed through desert
where women filled their vessels. miles at end
the horse ran under the heritage sky that forts
could not stop the love song. a song that came from her heart
i love you sparks…filled the sky
he ran faster and faster leaving his horse at the well.

bombay rains

when we were young and summer baked brown hash earth
we waited for rains like farmers in mud and hungry children
the rains felt nice as waters filled and frogs song before
concrete came. we wore phantom duckback mr. walker raincoats
and sloshed in the rains as afternoon breaks were extended
and it poured. leaves became big and cricket fields drowned
ball wouldn’t swing and we’d get slashed and hit around
we played with a spoke that we pierced the earth and penalty
would be hopping as we made brown statuettes of shiva ganpathy
and left them in waters. my friends dumped me in cow dung once
i was five. my anger hatred passion intensity began. eyes red
in spite five hours of soak. movies we went into wet wet wet
ate wada paus on streets and forgot to buy garlic for home
never did homework. read hardy boys. at 12 we had a soul
anand was another football place and i was a goalee as diamond
would steal glances at my thighs and goal keeping became hard job.

just a note: for the poem that follows

beware of sylvia plath
she seeks love
she will follow you home.

as for me

i see your unsaid smile solo sidebar skunk satire

and

with you i see light
with her i see darkness

two forces pull
with equal disdain.

wuthering heights

heathcliff was me as we ran on the moors
linton was low and iser ran rapidly. you
loved me but him you chose. i left quietly
you ran in the rains searching for my shadows

i came back bringing evil dark destinies child
destruction. i dont want that for you. not lancelot
nor heathcliff. i want lights and life not symond shadows
that i will take so you float to light, right and ride in peace

beware of sylvia plath

i started writing at 12 and go on for sixty poetic years
i never wanted an influence so i never read anyone
tennyson browning byron were inescapable for a pass
but did not my page to bleed anyone else but o positive

sylvia came highly recommended – escaped her on the escalators
but could not hide as jason brought home a movie BBC Sylvia
i knew i would be haunted and she was your favourite
so i went into an abyss of broken shadows to confront me

my mothers life and you. i survived but you mention sylvia
and she follows you home. looking for love. may i’m talking
to you. don’t bring her home with you. don’t enter her orbit
poets pay a price for fame. we do not seek fortune nor name

let it be. lest she comes to live with you. she came to me
as a depressed girl. i called your name but you closed ears
i fell in love with this girl and gave her your love. i ran
shaken. safe. fine. but sylvia shook shakable and shackles

i set her free. let her be. as she is confused runs to hills
leaves, green seas, graves. May let her be. Go back to Nat.
don’t call her name and forget you ever met me. hauntings
heathcliff. wuthering heights. it’s last life. GO JUST GO>

the little red dog

your white fences are dark tonight
as autumn leaves say gentle goodbyes
your pillow is wet as` i talked to
your dog in Auckland. asked him

if you love me? or what non-sense
has gee conjured up as you gently sleep
a tear for the unspoken dog that speaks
to me. nods. as pain goes away and I

search for christ to wash his wounds
i take your dog to church tonight
bath him with holywater. pary for
you. I know…I somehow know…what it is

to lose a soul that cares for you.

rain sun shine

through the woods the lion came
dogs and masters. matrix changed
lady athena dreams of him who she
cannot see as on her pillow weeps poetry

and he rides in her winds. million leaves
float, fall, fabricate into soil
you are walking too many dogs
too many medalions for your cross

but i not afraid as i want nothing
hinduism, yoga, karma taught me love
but lady listen the soft sweet silent
noise you heart makes. what does it say

what does it really say? are you afraid
then i sat you free. if you are sorry
i will be. if guilty. I no longer weep
my love’s hidden. phoenix has risen

i close my eyes in may. you were reshma i cherished
supriya i hated sexually, geeta i honoured
you were in so many lives of mine
but thy wish be done. thy love shine

you read my leaves again and again
sylvia i never betrayed you
you have blood in your words
i have ink in my blood.

we are same people bound by poetry…
don’t die on me. you are the love of my life
you are my lady…

loch the monster

the bloody river
hides face
heart smile tears
as the monster dips
into depths of abyss
darkness

sylvia park

dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark
leaves leaving bottomless trees
clouds crowding suns. black days
in white world. snow, rains, twilight
every night
every minute
pause in pain
killed in love
hurt by romance
sold by plague

my mother lived
through sylvia’s death
we are gratitude
when dad died we weren’t there

that was the revenge of the bad boy
who life couldn’t kill. sylvia
you were impatient.
what about your kiddies

i know your pain. i felt it too
as i loved a woman to destruction
depression. but sun comes out
sylvia you were great and the best
poet i have known but too much price
to pay for fame

beloved

a man limited by love
fears a woman everyone wants
that’s why you are prototype
intense need to be faithful
sincere, devoted, honest
makes me salute you amidst
auckland’s heartbreakers
you stand out – lighthouse
that bears storms unshaken
by grey seas. eternal gibraltar.

Azaleas’ Musical Yearnings

cold grey mists
gold say birdsongs
poetry every leaf-tree

winding musicians along
heartstring sungod kiss
morning tweeters newlife

stringing hearts petals
moaning sweet lovesongs
stairs softish heaven

bare babies bottoms
awakens sleeping ogre
monk rascal green

fields counting down
mild heavens pearlrings
wild hearts wakenings

pondering for meaning
wandering for long-lost
winding heartstring morning

Aztec always bleeds

intoxicated by 10 minutes of Sylvia the movie

let it pour – green showing their own true colours
I’ll walk in the wet and write poetry in my long weekend
that’s just me… out on a self destruct mission
let it rain. i’ll walk up on slippery mountains

to get you azaleas or dandelions or at least rose
if not daffodils. let it storm. this is my last night
my intensity deserves no love. my romance is pure poison
burning a hole in my soul as it mauls my existence

i hate me. it’s the scorpion talking. the centaur rides off
in the sunset but the sun is dead or a chicken running from life
so let’s get daffodils. its my last night and my funeral should
go in style. i will climb the rains and get you azaleas. that’s

what you want. isn’t it, lady? i want nothing. Nothing. NOTHING.
but you are the love of my life life. you are my lady.

reaching

the last cockroach
i asked how the fuck
do you survive
as the pest control
is out to get you

i mean you are my hero
you have survived every
bloody. people hate you
you don’t care. you can
start your own religion

you jump from bowl to plates
red to green table tops
as people sleep. popcorn
on the floor after scary movie
a drop of alcohol intoxicates
you as you search my suits

probably sunday
and you need to pray too
but black is not your color
mr roach. black is mine
you can have grey
niether here nor there

grey cloud in diwali

in india the pollution must have hit a new high
as people in joy of killing themselves are surrounded
by light, smog, fire, false joy, sweets and false friends
the bombs go off at midnight and Id is around the corner
so festivity would have a false air and joy in third world
can just not be described. why can’t they be unhappy and grumpy
as in developed nations. keep their class. what is the need
to be happy. do you have money? no. then how dare you happy?

Dusty Psalms

In a black jacket – fully leathered
with a centred zip as a gift weathered
a dusty yellow window – single mothers
reflect on the pane as they pass

a gift from a Chinese friend
to his Indian brother in blood bound by
Lord’s love. A reminder of the passion of death
lies safely at the edge not taken to India

Missed. Forgotten on purpose. I’m the Bible,
the Lord’s will and word. Safe, secure and spaced

ode to the humble bikini

Now then. Who created the word Bikini?
Bike-In-I. Eye. Pictorial Blue sky.
Green sea. Islands. Beach and paradise volcanic
Exotic birds. Source of pure water, juice and coco plants

A bomb that shook limejuice and red and yellow polkas
Jaws and Stone. Jamaica, Ursula and fried fish soul
Never a dull day in hollywood or bollywood with microscopic
Foreign bodies gently setting spark on sunny days

hey suneal leave those girls alone

intrepid as a rainbow
sexy as the winds
emerald shines
on dark nights
when she thinks of me
in a mist. a gist
of what could have been
as we look at the southern cross
imagining it to be north star
sagittarius backed by a sting from hell
if you don’t stop thinking of me
i may never sleep.

beware of the three Ws

Weekend
Whangerai
Wednesdays

Gagan Talwar

a sword in the sky, the etymology
a phone goes buzz in early wee hours
a death call confirmed. youth in line of danger
lightning strikes in sleepy subconscious

here I live, love, pine, cry; up against a bleeding burden
do I know how long I will live?
here I waste life’s moments for a sparrow’s songs and grieve
do I know she will return, be loyally mine: do I believe

sun comes out. death brings realizations. how I waste life
flowers to be picked, walks to be had, fish to be fed, mountains
to be climbed for that azaerus or something like that…
africa needs people while I spill my blood in auckland

for someone I know not. knows not me!
an instinct; a love; a feeling real but at every corner
death waits…mocking life in an opportunistic way
and all I care is does she love me? is she mine?

Gagan Talwar was the man peggy loved
but what did she do about it…nothing
canada empty as is delhi tonight and bombay lights
while I do a reality check on poetry and love

thus ended sky sword

suddenly everything fickled by an early call
life is an atom. sun is a facade
grey is eternal but shine is crucial
wasting on someone else of else of else?

after banging uncle’s pig fiat the boutique
i was taught by a master who was too young
for death. but people fading, falling, decking
while i wait for someone that’s not coming,
confused or somewhere else

death is real. life is short and we run after
who? why? where? how? and bloody hell what?

eternity is just a moment with you

the piano

lies at the bottom
of whangerai
kissed by small yellow fish
betrayed by the mermaid
lost
in my eyes
in the recesses of an infinite abyss
the beach glimmers salt
as small dogs walked by the goddess
bark at eachother
i take a distant stance
you can’t push love
smile
even if it kills the little ant
you walk on as the train leaves
eden
i love adam
he left paradise for a woman
i have his jeans
goddess smiles, thinks, dreams
of me. i smile
are you flattered or shocked
shaken or pompous
smiling or watching a movie
with james or david
are you sorting things
or spacing me
are you depressed
or trying to kill me in confusion
are you there or here
angelina jolie
or angel of death
do you want dreams or reality
love or crying laughter
are you ready to confess your love

I expect you to answer my questions

maybe, i expect too much
I need to find last bits
I shred pieces
I shut 343 blog.
sealed with a kiss

i expect honesty!

one flew over the cuckoo’s nest

nest was packed

insects
fishbones
hats…old books
leaves…fallen angels
tarot…rose…weeds
broken class
old cotton
familiar sounds

but it felt empty
the tui flew
towards nowhere
sea side windows
Onewhero’s farm dreams

time to leave

Revisions for the hand in.

one feather at a time
thus rose the beast the phoenix
exodus pulled back every soldier knight

self-destruct on the sands
blood dried gone wind
god serves me you
karma
ebb diwali lights
fizzled goodbye goodluck goodwill

walk continents jump countries
alone in every city
blue sky fox outwits the mansion dogs
pride hosts protect happiness

flash twenty signals at once
opposite poles of zodiac

competitors not lovers
a definite assurance
as sam dopes canada
I refuse
I ain’t jesus

I believed in forever. Whom can we trust
whom can we blame? is it just a shadow…is it just a name

threw your wicket in a rash six whangerai

honesty appeals – silence defies
been two days. i can pray

the exodus is began
the feather flies
nineteen more times

albert – park or mountain
one is where swans dance
poets talk
fountains sizzle
in the drizzle of rains
tui kisses taichi for peace

mount flashes green tops
brainless circles hang gardens
white birds breathe from uni to technology
what the heck?

this is my asyllum
this is where i hide
among ghosts and
noisy indian chatter
this where
007 passes a flash at a time

the wash basin knows your secrets
you cried in the loo yesterday…
macho gigolo nine times recorder
floor puller art stealer spit fire earthling
what happened ran out of soul?
twins fell. rubble rumbles in paradise philia
icecream melts cone’s broken
survivor? Tiger? destiny maker
the wash basin knows your secrets
casanova I’m talking to you
what happened?

Lancelot

Defy destiny now
Nothing to prove
history needs shreds
past needs death
wave a friendly goodbye
say hi to life
go towards the oxygen
leave the queen alone
lancelot.

Connections in a yellow bus
met everyone same place karma went berserk
exploding explanations
my lost child, father, mother, brother
uncanny bond on route 343

soft knowing sweet feeling
a sanguine genuine tip tip
tic tac toe
but come on
there are no coincidences

we live in the first world
no emotions or emissions
faces history.
history’s fate.

longing
sense of belonging
cry sparrows heart
song tui ongoing
flapping white beard
flinging, flogging, flaking
fiery funnel – soul’s surrenders
want to ask yourself a question
uncanny meetings unknown brushings
blushing or hushing
kissing or crushing
a jaunting and taunting
flushing blushing
devil’s want
free to collide
aligning elonging
who are you?
where are you – Now?

grace peace eternity
i know what i want… love on dark nights for street lights
ball of cotton, a woolen kitten, a lost puppy
on my chest over my heart. Protected.
held through the night. troubled head gently sleeps.

soul searching other psychic translates a need
for saving last life we were black africans.
i the mother and something happened to you
peace because
cry for each other not ourselves
peace on last mars
a calm on moon
we will never part
bloody indestructible
life, death, ex-lovers, eternity
untouchables

tundra will melt tonight
biblical storms and fires
as nero fiddles
laughter keys
piano on the beach
ten is the price of me
a violin, a wild man
in saffron chanting hare krsna
maya. temperory. destructive.
jagannath yatra mammoth rath
cows bigger than yaks.
unlike indian cousins
tusks. one glint at a time.
camera shivers
before it shines

today my love
gently like a butterfly
free at pukekohe’s farms
flow out of my body water falls
gently gravity kissed by ice

today you are the kite cut strings
a dove float pray – find the one
look for peace not biblical joy
today i love

the clash

the warrior pierced the sandy sands
sahara keeps him company poison
other’s smiles
khartoum storms go
yellow mayflower
deity of passion – missiled his shreds
nursed his wounds compassion smile
two goddesses clash in his head
pulling him in different zones

spirits are coming out of the closet
its a funny time late 2006
mars mercury destroying
people’s lives
raining all over
at the same time
where’s Noah?
dark grey
would i rather
be home

i will never fall
so hard and hopeless
for sure. never.
but too many spirits
too many hidden promises
too many clandestine secrets
too many twin towers

peggy saw spirits in her house
i saw neha trying to outrun
me and jumped but missed
as i reached the pinnacle

Studio Poems

old friends
acquaintance seeks sunny days
symonds streets’ shadows grieve
gray rocks shaped words fallen leaves

falling with rising solos psychedelic lights
antler bare branches. meet there? number
games – beet juice and wine
shadows talk to pc
staring at curves.
turning showers. fresh from bakery
helter skelter. Leave her out. doubts
as

where are we?
here on our own

day all of us.

Out of soul…

wounded, flowers pine for sails in autumn’s spring
joy bleeding still. night fiddling peeked an empty street
dal fry rice, extra salt as pigeons feed

lamb garlic green chillies chopped in a heart
tea dancer, scrabble dictions or truth.
orange tree white dandelions
million peaches on queen street

webs of doubts, desires, confusion and conclusions; firing popcorn bullets
from the aries god. sun’s eye lies on our head as coffee is late. crucial. iron.
salt a wound or two. smile a seat of poetic joy winding into an abyss infinite

what were you thinking of? what did she say? is baretta better than barista?
is depression a logically right place of no expectations and thus low crashes

expand style. eat more protein. listen to the inner voice. make her decide
cry when asked to. rain when needed. reselect your choices. bush osama
brothers need twining. winding hearts ting ting tong ting. m has helped

bond. hitting walkie talkies. oh defeat. dad. muffling a yen. forever.
fire in the mountain. run run run. panadol panic perfects passes
pats parapsychology and pataphysics. utter nonchalance stutter.

malu’s hat black and red. blood and death. passion. powerplay
a small packet of non fattening chips for chubber cheeky darkie.
twist. wind. loop. weave. string. thread. yarn. wrap around.

curl. coil. if mullen has a directory. I have gates on right.
it’s not my war but innocent people lie bleeding on
every st, every city, every continent. minding heartfelt warning.

you can’t be jealous

of your imaginations
if you are not into me

you shouldn’t be thinking

especially if you promised

your flatmates there’s nothing

you shouldn’t be reading

into situations unwelcome

hey blond tanned show

leave me alone
i need five assignments done
no need to tease
done better
hate fake accents
let me be
it takes more than flash
to get to me
so take your coffee
and sleep on it

wild blue skies gave way

to blue sky fox
stars burning bright
dark paths
shadow of the leaves
predators perched
tea with milk, ginger
elaichi and mint
police vans
joggers
too late darker
moons wolf on trees
fox in leaves tiger country
mounts and hills
dangerous thrills
that’s just the country
i come from

one feather at a time

the phoenix will rise
the exodus has begun
pull back every soldier
ever knight with self-destruct
writ large on the sands
because blood has dried
gone with the wind
there is a god
that serves me and you alike
you have karma
don’t need varma
ebb has begun
the diwali crackers
has fizzled out
a goodbye kiss
a goodluck trust
a goodwill that always lives

walk continents jump countries
you aren’t alone in any city
blue sky fox outwits the mansion dogs
pride has becoming all-inclusive price
dignity has rared its ugly head again
self respect bares his devilish teeth

you have a host of people to protect you
to give you happiness
you don’t need me
you are the priveledged soul

how dare i assume…my love matters
when you flash twenty signals at once
we are on the opposite poles of zodiac

we are competitors not lovers
a definite assurance that i will win
sam taking drugs in canada
how long will i bleed for other’s sins
i aint jesus

how dare i assume. yesterday you said
drawn to you in a particular way
captivated from day one

i believed in forever. there’s nothing here
whom can we trust…whom can we blame
is it just a shadow…is it just a name

after a fine start you threw your wicket
in a rash sixer over northern shore boundary

your honesty appealed to me
your silence defies me
it’s only been two days

i can pray for you that’s all i will do
two steps forward one step backwards
you should do what your community says
i’m way out of league games

the exodus is began
the phoenix will rise
nineteen more times

albert park and mount albert

one is where swans dance
poets talk
fountains burn
tui kisses taichi
then there is peace

mount albert flashes
green tops
brainless cirles
hanging gardens
white birds breathe
from uni to tec
what the heck

this is my asyllum
this is where i hide
among ghosts
noisy indian women
007 passes from here
one flash at a time

casanove what happened?

yesterday you cried in the loo
what happened
macho gigalo material
nine times record holder
floor puller
heart stealer
spit fire
rob earth
what happened
out of soul?
pirate art
what happened
who was he
who are you
twins fall
rubble remains
what happened
attacked by paradise philia
icecream melts
cone’s broken
what happened
survivor
tiger
destiny maker
the wash basin knows
your secrets

Lancelot

don’t want Lancelot
don’t want to be Lancelot
been there done that

history needs to shred
past needs to leave
wave a friendly goodbye

to life
go towards the oxygen

yes you are connected

in this bus – you met everyone from your last life
all in the same place together
in one place
and karma went crazeee
explosions and no one can explain
oh there’s my child
there’s my father
there’s my mother
there’s my brother
uncanny does not even
begin to describe
the bond that all
travelling route 343
felt. its this slight
soft knowing sweet feeling
a sanguine genuine tip tip
tic tac toe
but come onnnnnnnnnnnnnn
we live in the first world
we must not show our emotions
or emissions
its cool
but we travelled the same bus
that we had before
and every face had a history
every history a fate.

a longing

a sense of belonging
a cry from a sparrows heart
a song from tui ongoing
flapping its white beard
flonging, flogging, flaking
fiery funnel into soul surrenders
want to ask yourself a question
uncanny meetings unknown brushings
blushing or hushing
kissing or crushing
a jaunt
the devil’s haunt
what do you want
i have set you free
why do we collide
aligning
elonging
who are you?
Where are you – Now?

grace and peace

i know what i want…i call it love on dark nights to street lights
but it is a ball of cotton, a wool, a kitten, a puppy
that i want on my chest over my heart protected i want
to hold you through the night and let your troubled head

gently sleeep. after a lot of soul searching and the other psychic
i translate it to a need for saving you. last life when we were black
africans. i may have been the mother and something happened to you
and i have not gotten over the fear and the tears that you have seen

i want to hold you as gently as a butterfly and softly as a sparrow song
but you on my left shoulder and tell you you are safe it’s allright as
you sleep in warmth of my shoulders and peace of my safety like a
protected rabbit pink fluff and all. this aint poetry. its what i want.

peace because

we cry only for eachother not ourselves
i found peace when i saw you on last mars
a calm on moon that knows we will never part
why? i have no bloody idea but we look indestructible
something that life, death, ex-lovers, eternity
can just not rob us off.
we cannot separate. we tried
and we are still here
as you read my poetry for clues

tundra will melt tonight

as water hits the biblical storms
and fires rise as nero fiddles
and laughter keys on a piano on the beach
and ten keys is the price of me with
a chant from a violin, a wild man in saffron
chanting hare krsna, hare krsna, krsna, krsna, hare, hare
hare rama, hare rama, rama, rama, hare, hare
queen street is maya. temperory. destructive.
as jagannath takes his yatra in that mammoth rath
and cows bigger than yaks. not like their indian cousins
show off their tusks. one glint at a time. camera shines

today my love

i gently hold you like a butterfly
and set you free at pukekohe’s farms
I let you flow out of my body as the waterfalls
gently persuaded by gravity kissed by ice

today you are the kite i cut the strings off
a dove i let float as I pray you find the one
thing that you look for and peace and biblical joy
today i love you more than ever, evermore, forever and everafter.

the clash

the warrior pierced the sandy sands
on sahara
one keeps him company but was poison
other’s smiles made khartoum storms go away
yellow mayflower
one was the deity of passion
and missiled his shreds
other nursed his wounds
with compassion just
a smile
two goddesses clash in his head
one to save
one to starve
heavens help!!!
pulling him at different zones
attacking saving drowning praying
hell turned into a storm life
had never seen.

spirits are coming out of the closet

its a funny time late 2006
mars mercury destroying
people’s lives
raining all over
at the same time
where’s Noah?
dark grey
would i rather
be home

i will never fall
so hard and hopeless
for sure. never.
but too many spirits
too many hidden promises
too many clandestine secrets
too many twin towers

peggy saw spirits in her house
i saw neha trying to outrun
me and jumped but missed
as i reached the pinnacle

better than that rainy bus
exclusive entry
ponsonby hearts
better bitter at uni
facing grey grills
15 grey cars in a row

than home alone
heater does not warm
the soul.

i need 7 kilometers
i need sunshine
i need 343 and 252
and i need friends
i need a new levis
a new dream to chase

i’m tired running
for decades
i need a shoulder
to fall on
and may to smile once
a day and save me fromn rains

i need. do i want?
of course not.

3 am

is a standard time that someone calls
is it your tears miss turner coming from
all night mcdonald’s crying for south african
rainbows. who are we? who the fuck are we?
i read john’s gospel. prayed for your mind
i played hearts and you won in purple light
i spoke to peggy and she said let go…
i drizzled in the city. books marked M
i pretend to laugh and pretend to cry.
do seven kilometers and yet dont dive
may has gone into october and am glad to be alive.

the window

that faced parnell was blocked
by another user like sour grapes
too many people…too less connections
number one must live. rest is perishable
dark grey rains colour your wet city
a smile from may makes life a herbal tea
herbivourous is the intent but who cares
the one is someone not the sun blinded
by false line connecting to telecom in the rains
as the biker cometh with an aries determination
and your smile will keep me warm this cold plight
copthorne is less pink, dense in my head blocking
a smile that shines from the sun and the son shuns
silence and satanic satire in a farce called existence
tomorrow is just another day. why fear?

picking pieces

a joy, a relief, a swan, a smile
and then hopelessness
a walk, a light, garlic bread, minerals
and then pain
a melody, a kiss, a big house, a small heart
and then darkness
a sun, a rainbow, some breeze, some leaves
and then storms
a love, a labour, a laughter, a lobster with salt
and than languish

diwali

when lord the warrior ram,
killed ravana the ogre in lanka
with monkey god hanuman
fire spread into the islands

and burned all the oxygen in bombay
alongwith with other acts of terrorism
sadism properous with blasts after midnight
sweets, smell of crackers coincided pt chev kiss

on guy fawkes on 5th Nov 2002. beautiful as emma
gentle flower on sulky night tasted divine every
crevice. a kiss from heaven and typical tears tread
slow as taureans hit a new magic kiss. pt. chev bursts

return to sender

the little bounces back from waterview
no one home. no sweet voice. no aroma
or red jacket or brown hair. no cat called james
no clothes drying. no fresh tea. no no-gluten bread
no us no ‘ems.

gold fish your heart

as you swim in familiar waters
that’s what i love about you little fish
you are safe sound and magical in your taste
you have immense spark turning daylight into heart

the

summer breeze makes waves of time ebbs faults flows
bright sunshine lights our paths. dark rains leave
bells toll in goan catholic churches as temples in madras
bombay flows to the flute of forgotten bollywood songs

auckland is at mercy of moods. a myriad jungle of guarded passion
as joggers and walkers whistle inside their mp3 that white apple thinggy
a shoe lace is tied and dogs controlled and smiles femininie genuine
in the fourt world only. the palm bends but gently to the sparrow song

and pigeons find their molecular destinies on a wooden totem
moari pole. the blue flowers and white flowers and red flowers
and violets and oranges and daffodils and dandelions and dire straits
rise. the old giving way. in spring a man’s heart. phoenix will rise
nothing will be quite the same again.

your name on every blooming flower

it was a cry for help

that i heard at parnell
as we walked to the theatre
the bar, elvis presley steps
a warm hug, unsaid smile
an intimacy that was just not
physical
it was a cry from my last life
a cry from the recesses of the fourth dimension
a cry that took me through your world
the very highs and the very lows
a cry that tore my defences
my pride, my dignity
my judgement as i threw
the curry roll
and ran ran ran
towards you away from besides you
without you
iran faster than your car
like a crazed alcoholic maniac
like a man in search of god
like a man who rescues his only child
a little blond girl with blue eyes
a small change devasted me
and oft at nights
when i sleep i hear a cry
that wakes me
makes me cry helplessly
and you have heard my cry
as the little lamp did
are we pain sharers
who are we
who are reallly
who the fuck are we?
ohhhhhhhhhhh at least let me protect you
at least let me massage you and
put you gently to sleep
like a small puppy
safe and platonic like a teddy bear
you are a mermaid out of your waters
and i can hear your cry
it has broken shackles citadels universes
tell me where you want my blood to fall
i’ll die for you
i’ll cry for you
i’ll fry for you
in my own fat….

true happiness

is able to tell
someone how you feel
about them
and they listening
intently
and accepting
and not calling you
a criminal or killer
or not calling the police
or ambulance for you

if you can actually tell her
how much you love her
without dying in the process
then
nothing after that matters.

just a few feet away from

knowing you breathe the same O2
same clatter in the computer room
is incense to my s`oul tnat has seen better times
a joy like no other that keeps me from other heart-aches
or physical manifestation i felt in a weed ridden garden
I stay away from thorns. i touch the flowers
i deal in souls. i want nobody.
i’m either an angel or the devil’s favourite child
and you are right i once was very wild.

thus i broke the mirror

so there will be more of me
but in each millionth piece
i stood slightly on the alone side

today i found my bottle

in a world that’s always searching
its mountain dew and small and fat
and comfortable in a flat that washes
no dishes

tangle

tangle son make your own tangle then blame god
or past lives or karma or her or poetry or popcorn
but never varma…get up and blame varma
its in your blood this war and love and 4
generations of love marriages in india.
blame the varma

to be sung in "take my breath away" tune

walking in slow motion
i go to places to pray
consuming love potion
may be you will return to stay

take a deep look in your eyes
as i stray.
loving is devotion
as we hold onto dismay

take my life way…

what do i want from you

this that happened in bellevue on a dark night
with just a street light is not what i do for a living
i seem to actually care for you.

i want to be your friend or father or brother or pet
or shoulder or hand or pain sharer or email bud
but i want to be there for you when you fall
when you rise, when you call, cry or laugh

may be someone who’s always there. you are
the cat i rescued from dogs – the people i cried
for when i reached home. i did not manifest anything

i’ll buy a house in a year and keep a room for you
and warm food…in case, you come my way

252 and 343

emanating
incense
eternity

beginning of the end

flying through your brain like

a mosquito searching for lovebites

and a touch of heartlessness

once again

son
you have asked for too much
i can’t give this to you either
so will you fight

father in heaven
holy be thy name
lame, maim, flame, game
i’ll fight till i die
break me if you can

trade and exchange

two in a dark table

so you want 5 talents
that will be 50

intelligence another 10
charm another 10
language 35

so we will take 105%
off
the strength of your heart

stop crying you can’t have something

for nothing, son

you do have a heart

so what if it has gone soft

shades of non-existent colours, chasing rainbows – crashing dreams

gurudakshina

it’s almost white
scales are scars
through hedges devoid
of scorpions and spiders
it has travelled a while
it can take ash
or a small dream
or smaller poem
brought from eden
made of clay
last it’s life
crumbles away

black church onehunga

the music was loud
soul mambo jumbo
bouncing in joy
songs original
sermon funny
and i was healed

tears stopped after eternity
of two weeks
in a small indian shop
where the lady urged satan to leave
please go dear sir

and for once i actually felt new
unlike mosques temples graves churches toilets
god’s everywhere you see

i actually felt pain leave
four years since emmma
three years since my maaa
and this lost soul stealing my orbit
number one i call her

and the other one with first aid kit
saved…healed…how…why

have no idea
though mark was a warrior
and alan good looking
but adam was the screwball
the emotional fool
and gives more credence to my CV

black bird

black is beautiful
at 2 am
as Christian searches
for the kiwi bird
we manifested it
using telepathy spirituality
and my bullshit
do we really need a telephone
while we wait for calls
and emails
and all we collect is junk
that’s what i like in kiwi land
black is the national colour

black magic is not new to me

that’s how we lost our million
there was something there
that’s how we lost our landlordship
at divide
that’s a curse that diamond cast on me
a curse that kept me worried afraid and crying
that prayer removed that bloody curse

look australian umpires

will come and go
as intuitive employers
working out your name number
but peace is the highest form of happiness

peace is permanent happiness temporary
peace has no side effects no hangovers
you dont have to pay a price for peace
peace needs no excuse. no lies. no cheating.

peace allows you to fart in a public toilet.

who was adam

adamant jerk who gave up paradise
for a girl he loved and eternal life
and love and fig leaves but…
did he get aids…is that the symbol

so what is feeling good

feeling good is being able to tell people
what you feel. being healed is being able to tolerate
the pain, even letting go. the vacuum is leaving. agony waving good byes
it’s the black church and their warfare against satan
and other forms of pain and heartbreaks
adam is a good name though john must have given the power
to mary’s boy

yes i’m healed. i live. i even try to sing.
now what can i do for you? i had to tell
and my heart is peace not pieces
the black singing bouncing removed my pain
in that church where people were set free

i’m free to be your knight, you friend
i judge you not
i control my feelings
as 343 citadels crumble
in a weak
moment that you must suffer mine

but i respect honour cherish love you
my friend and no matter what you do
i will never stop being there for you

one day the sun will shine

you I – same people
jumping or crying
dancing or thinking
loving or hating

the confusion is infectious
and so are feelings
so is dignity so is pride
as fidility infidelity
dusk dawn

looking for the one

has magical undercurrents
that break the captivity
of being a woman in a desert

looking for the one needs
fidelity patience tears
break your shackles… you can

searching for the one
aren’t we all
but at what cost at whose peril
at what sacrifice

this blood thing

this ink in blood comment
has travelled far enough
as have rains on mondays
poetry on tuesdays
pain and unkept promises on wednesdays
hope on thursday
loneliness on fridays
disasters on saturdays
prayers on sunday

savage paused

as the lord – the god – the cloud – the clout – the doubt spoketh
son your razor has slashed people’s throat
you touch but sometimes cut – souls
quick at vocabulary – jars human beings soft cores
as your arrows tear people’s arenas

so thus here i led you to a lost soul
that you may never hold as you stand
on the edge of the sea and helplessly
see her pain inconsistencies as hopes crash
you need to feel the pain

son the worse is over
just a tiny curse remains
thus bear with me
as I put you on hold
and play

“Our father in heaven”
savage looked anger helpless
soft heart as the fish cried
laughed jumped flirted in her ocean
and savage behind the water curtain
helpless angry but with whom?
fate…kingdom come…faith…tears.

or him and how helpless he was
in this land
that had no past no future
only fear. unadulterated tears.

my gold fish. i will send you
hope from my dimension to your world

while i searcvh for a small red button
self destruct

orbits collide – mercury – mars

dark thoughts
bright ideas
part of lives
your orbit showed
me your pain
and shook my existence
in a place that we have been to before
in a place that looks like this…

on a way to unitec

a small red leaf
was talking to a bright
blue ball of a thorn
i’m looking for the one
i feel drawn to you in a strange way
you had me captivated from day one

the thorn burst water everywhere
as it saw the pain and felt may be
this was the leaf

Don’t hold back from talking to me
pretty quiet keen to listen nice to have company
like the next one to be ‘ the one’

but suddenly the leaf blew to whangarei
and darkness depth and deception remained
the thorn bled

now you may be my fan

but you are my mermaid
a lady i respect beyond measure
a dream i never had
you bring honour to the equation
and justice, true love, dragons
you raise me to my best self
as you deny me your feelings
which is fine
but when you call my name
i smile in my sleep
you may be my fan
but i’m your knight
not to possess you
but to cherish your thoughts
and touch your soul

isu thanks for the healing

two flood-filled weeks
wet green dark-dull patch
raining in churches, libraries
poet’s corner, chalk powder, K
raining that would not stop
wondering crying praying hurting
no denial just save our souls
should i lie to my heart
cry to lord
die for honesty
and than pearl came
you need prayers first for you
(then her)
hey! i have never asked for me before
may be the stocks are depleted
negativity left pain disappeared
sun came out. then prayed for her
wherever she goes, whatever she does
happiness should be hers
and the black church helped
cause i want nothing
just peace for you

tearing through a beautiful day

i heard your cry for help

and that’s why i responded
because it was my cry of help
that you responded to
aren’t we strange people
bound by strange empathy
loved by strange realities

soul hate

somewhere

the twins

gulp

like a fish

and horse

in the arrow

of the sea

remains of an ancient love affair

scattered

pouts

of

depths

and area

it was sunny

in the morning and eden
was bright as a yellow butterfly
pizzahut making love to chili sauce
grass trimmed and books alive
but answers nowhere

why thee

flutters like a fish in the jar green tank
why we confused like a beast pull each other
why you flicker like a fire though you may flames
why i burn like coal i just know you.
is there a past life attacking our souls
breaking our parts mending our wholes
what connection is this? what pain? what pleasure
in blood as we bleed. laugh cry seek truth
running from me running from you
jumping mountains tripping on laces
surviving ice burned by waterfalls
as i bleed for you and you for me?
why? should i care when you don’t
why? should you care what song i sing
we are counting each others sorrows
living each others pain
getting a taste of eachothers orbit
colliding with life, destiny and the soul
who are we? who the fuck are we? who are we to each other?

causing pain

through loving
too much
or too less
is not a perfected
science and thus
humans suffer
loving one who loves another
who loves another who loves another
thus the one is always the other
belonging to another
who does not belong to them.

buddhism brought peace at long last

lost in a world pulled by forces
can only bring pain
reduce evil…encourage good…harm none
karma meets varma at ace library

run and take cover on a day like this

run hide
to or from
float or drown
can death decide
on a day like this
run from the sun
hide from hyde
jar is jealous
deffodil’s depressed
connection is concoctation
condemned in cake
had and ate
million flowers bloom
searching for the one
is he a god or angel of death
is he blue, black or south african
run run
hide under a roof
hoofed with books
booed by boys
glued by girls
the war goes on
after red into blues and blacks
no respite, despite in spite.
run from sin
sin on the run
soft is hard
mile’s a yard
runny run
running nose
hiding eyes
bleeding souls

is this me?

am yabber
am yabby
am yak
am yaffle
am yahoo
an yahweh
am yajur-veda
am yakitori
am yakut
am yale locked
am yama
am yammer
am yamuna
am yin
am yang
am yap
am yardbird
am yardstick
am yawn
am y chromosome
am yearbook
am yearning
am yeats
am yell
am yellow
am yellowback
am yelp
am yenner
am yes
am yesterday
am yet
am yielding
am yogi
am yoke
am yokel
am yonder
am yoo-hoo
am young turk
am youthfool
am yours
am yuck
am yuppity
am yum yum
am yuzu

fight or flight

fight or flight
up against mughals
always fight
up against alex
never flight

up against persians
up against turks
up against mongols
up against indus
khyber, sutlej, blood
mad dogs, china, arabia
fight and bleed die defeat
always bleed

heart’s squeezing beet
always fight
two nations split
over allah and ram
cow and pigs
heaven and perfection
culture and religion

who will spill the blood
the kshatriyas will
the gurkhas will
the rajputs will
the pathans will

because all love’s war
and businesses’ pimp
and names are wrong
searchinmg still
throw your credit ratings
pee on your skills
boo is your heart
blah is your art

there’s one thing that warriors feel
fight and bleed, bleed, bleed, bleed, bleed
cause fight or flight is not a choice
and your multi-purpose heart is not my destiny

as i take the first flight. me with the weak heart.